Only about ablock away from my car, I see another homeless-looking man standing on the sidewalk. He looks familiar – O, yes, he passed me and the the other homeless man as we were walking to Taco Mac. “He’s probably going to ask you for money,” I think to myself. Yep. I was right. He greets me as like I’m an ol’ buddy of his, and tells me he needs some gas money. “My wife and kid are waiting in the car, if you want, you can come see,” he says. “Where?” “Over there by Taco Mac.”
“I don’t have any money,” I truthfully say again (debit cards don’t count).
“Come on, Man, I have to drive all the way to Marion County…I need the money.” This fellow is more persistent. I don’t trust him. I repeat that I have no money to give.
“There is an ATM right accross the street, you can get money there,” says the man (apparently, debit cards do count).
I will learn tonight that I am very gullible (and stupid) when it comes to helping those who request help – especially when they are persistent and I just want to do something to get away. Yes, I went to he ATM machine. I knew what I was doing was stupid, but for some reason I did it anyway. I’m in danger physically, but I know God loves me, so I’m ultimately safe.
Cautious and alert, I retreive the money as quickly as possible. $10. I told him at first he could have $10, but then remembered that I needed to pay some bills. $5. “Come on, Man, you said you’d give me $10.” He attempts to justify why I just give him the money, and mentions that his car and family are in Beular’s Market’s Parking lot, I can go and see if I want. I’m not about to give this man $10 if he’s lying. “Let’s go and see,” I say. He suggests we drive. No. I’m being stupid enough – I’m not about to let this man anywhere near my car.
After almost two blocks of walking, there’s 25 yards left before the parking lot. The man slows down. “Man, my wife is going to get really mad when she finds out that I’m bumming for money.” He wants the money now. I think he’s lying. No, I need to see his family. We’re on the edge of the parking lot. “They’re over there,” he waves vaguely. “Where?” I begin walking into the well-lit lot in the direction the man pointed, every alert and watching (don’t want someone to jump out at me from one of the cars).
“Which car?” I repeat. “The black jeep.”
“Which one?” There are a few. “That one.” It’s an SUV. I think he’s lying. I approach it cautiously. The man gets there first and raps on the door, as though waking up his wife – who “will be mad when she finds out,” I may give her husband some money. I walk around the SUV at a distance, but close enough to see inside – it’s empty. He lied. I thought so.
I can’t give the man $10, he lied to me. “She left the car,” he pleads. Maybe, but by all appeances he lied to me. So, we walk back to where I first met him, in front of a restaurant. He’s complaining of the cold the whole way. I get some change from the $10 and give the man $5. At this point, I need to get home, and I don’t want this man chasing after me because he got nothing.
We’re standing on the sidewalk. He has his $5. I offer for him to take my jacket (Jesus told me in Matthew to give my cloak if someone asks for my tunic; to not refuse to the one who asks). “O – No – No, Man, that’s embarrassing.” He seems indignant. I’m puzzled. He wanted my money. I appolgize. “That’s just embarrassing,” he repeats. He walks off as I again appologize. He’s walking away – I’m almost back to my car. It’s midnight, and I’m safe – I’m driving home. God is mercifully good, even to the stupid.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Well, I think I learned some things:
1) I’m very much a push-over (especially) to those who request (or demand) help. In such cases, I seem to “lose” the ability to act on wisdom. I knew I was being stupid, but did it anyway.
2) There are people that genuinely need help, and we’re not to refuse help to those who ask. However, not everything they ask for is really what they need (an alcoholic doesn’t need money to buy more alcohol).
3) It’s not stupid to help people. It is stupid to help people when you’re all alone in the middle of the night.
4) There’s a lot of people out there who need Jesus and do not know it (or want to know it).
5) Helping others requires wisdome, gentleness, and more than just meeting someone once and giving them a meal (or $5).
6) I still have a lot to learn, and am thankful for what this opportunity helped me to learn.
I really liked hearing your story and, as i said yesterday, I too struggle with what is right in those situations.
Uncle david
Micah:
I really enjoyed the re-telling of how God is using you to impact others all the while helping you put actions behind your faith. I too, have had multiple run in with people asking for help. I remember one day I was hit up for money three times in one day (two of those times were within 30 seconds of each other). I have struggled with the same questions of whether I am enabling an addiction or reinforcing bad behavior. I have come to the conclusion that there are needy people out there and try to ere on the side of mercy. If someone takes a charitable gift and uses it in an inappropriate manner, it is God that will hold him accountable. That said, I did something a few years back that I will probably never do again. I acually drove someone from my downtown parking lot to the Bethlehem Cener in Alton Park. I was quite nervous about it, but confident that God would protect me.
I also think that our being a faithful witness is not lost on folks we encounter. Of note, there is one guy downtown, that I run into quite often. I have had multiple meals with him at Lupis. He is anxious to talk during these times – about politics and like, and often about God and religeon. I pray that I am being a good witness to him.
Glad that everything turned out okay and that God is stretching you to place your trust in Him and His promises, and not in your own understanding or money.